Words from Alyssa

To My Dearest,       What if you just fade into my memories? What if you become someone that I'll look through my photos and call a stranger or rather say that you were someone that I used to know? I think it hurts how much one isn't capable of understanding another. It literally feels like I'm drowning in my own nightmare knowing that you're right there but you can't do anything about it. All these insecurities and fears hold me back from the person I ought to be in fear of rejection from the person that I love the most. How come when everything is failing, there just seems to be more that's being added. Am I to ignore every warning sign in the protection of my heart? Am I to turn off the feelings that are closing in on me? What am I to do with all these emotions if I can't express them the way I should? It hurts me every time I hurt you. I'm sorry that I always do. I'm sorry that I always hurt you.       I can't promise that the grass will alwa...

You don't adore me the way you used to You don't look at me like before You don't talk to me the way I remember  I don't feel the same as before Right now it feels like you're trying to get even  And that's all that matters. I miss being in your eyes When you would look at me and just adore me I miss the way we would always resolve things Now you ask why we can't and it's because it's not the same The relationship isn't the same We are NOT the same. But you don't even pursue me like how you did I want to be selfish too You don't want to entertain something that I want to feel You don't understand no matter how many times it comes up Because it seems unfair and it seems like something you shouldn't do Why is it that in the start you did? So many things changed  We both changed  But I keep wondering, is it better? I don't feel as connected as before I don't feel as you seek me as before I've come to realize that I'm ...