The Woman I used to Be.

You don't adore me the way you used to

You don't look at me like before

You don't talk to me the way I remember 

I don't feel the same as before

Right now it feels like you're trying to get even 

And that's all that matters.

I miss being in your eyes

When you would look at me and just adore me

I miss the way we would always resolve things

Now you ask why we can't and it's because it's not the same

The relationship isn't the same

We are NOT the same.

But you don't even pursue me like how you did

I want to be selfish too

You don't want to entertain something that I want to feel

You don't understand no matter how many times it comes up

Because it seems unfair and it seems like something you shouldn't do

Why is it that in the start you did?

So many things changed 

We both changed 

But I keep wondering, is it better?

I don't feel as connected as before

I don't feel as you seek me as before

I've come to realize that I'm hurting more and more

But I still want you.

It hurts so much

Seeing the change 

It's just not the same 

There was more effort and fight and want 

Now it feels like resilience

I don't feel like the woman you made me feel before

I feel like a woman who has privileges. 

Written By: Alyssa Chin