Words from Alyssa

From an early age, I could remember hearing my mother's shrieks. I could clearly see the desperation on her face every time my father laid hands on her. The thing that confused me was why she stayed and did not run away even if she left me. I could come to the conclusion that she was either dumb or reckless. She always smiled and tried her best to take care of me and my good-for-nothing father. He comes home late at night drunk or wrapped hand in hand with another woman. That filthy bastard only extorted from my mother but she was so useless, weak, and frail that she could never open her mouth to him.  The disdain on his face when he sees her never changes. He disgusts me, but what am I to judge when I can't even utter a single word to him. He has never looked at me since I was born, it's like I'm invisible in his eyes. Only mother is there as his personal slave and don't even get me started on the women he brings here. They walk in all high and mighty and boss arou...

Why love and want to be loved? I would rather not love than love and be loved. The loneliness that is etched into a person's heart after the so-called love leaves causes permanent damage. Yet, we crave one another like animals in heat. The sensation of your tingling touch lingers all over my body to show the places that you took dominance over.  I might not have been the most perfect but in every way, I tried to be the one you would crave. I still can't believe I had you in my arms and still lost you. I did everything that you wanted I hurt myself for you to be happy. I wanted you but you didn't want me. I tried so hard. I applied the most expensive makeup I could get my hands on, I exercised every day to lose weight to be that perfect type for you. If it was my body structure I'm sorry I couldn't fix that but the costs for that were surreal.  I had the thought that when you held me in your arms and said I was your match that I had really done a wonderful job for yo...