Words from Alyssa

Yup, it's back but this time I'm by myself. There's no one here to help me now. I did this to myself and I expected it but why am I so calm with it now, why have I accepted the fact that I'm just a failure. Why do the people I hang around with all have such a bright future ahead and I'm just stuck? Stuck in a void that only takes from me. I felt left behind but in reality, I was lost or am lost. I amount to nothing and I feel so angry with myself that I have come to terms with this feeling. I wasted everything I was given when I was fortunate enough to have so much. I was fortunate to have money and I wasted it. I was fortunate to have people around me and I pushed them away. I am fortunate for existing and all I want to do is throw it away. I feel like there's so much being taken from me but really I may just be acting unconsciously. One moment I could be given the inexplicable feeling of happiness then my thoughts take control and consume me whole leaving me s...

Parallel People were never meant to meet, but our existence defied fate and somehow we overlapped into similar universes. We knew we were never meant to be together and never supposed to meet but we lusted for one another, we craved each other's touch. You were gentle and compassionate while I on the other hand was worrisome and problematic but you made all my emotions feel like explosions. You showered me with love and that made me become greedier for more and constantly bulldozed the walls surrounding my heart. You showed me you could be trusted and I wanted to but it was so hard to because of my ambivalence. I found comfort in your presence and as you continued to be a constant being in my life, I started depending on you more and more. I became selfish and didn't want you to leave my side not even for a moment.  To constantly want you to watch over me because of my greed. I lusted after you and still do. You were everything that I wanted, you were everything I needed to bec...