Our first encounter.
It hurts. My heart aches. It's throbbing. Am I just a stranger to you? Isn't that a bit harsh? Strange, it hurts so much. I never normally feel things in this situation but with you it's different. Your words just hit me like a ton of bricks, a bit cliche I know. Your words are killing me softly. I recall when I just met you, it's funny how it feels like I'm the only one who even remembers that. Ah, it's probably my fault we aren't even talking right now. Well, it is, I fell for you first didn't I.
I recall walking in and seeing you and your brother's faces for the first time and the only thing I could think about is woah they're identical. I sat beside you and I had thought that because you guys were new you wouldn't really fit in yet. The day passed and the next time I saw you I mustered up the courage to say hi and introduce myself. You don't know how fast my heart was beating because I wanted to make friends with you. The first time I heard your voice it was deep and soft. I don't know but you could say I liked your voice.
From then on I tried talking to you more and more. I remember downloading a game that sometimes I would pretend I didn't know the answer to and ask you to help me. Do you remember that? Ah, I was so lame, I'm sorry that was just how I was. I became the first person who could tell the difference between you and your brother, which kind of made me glad. They started comparing you two saying that he was the more outgoing one and you were silent but I liked it that way because I was the one that received all of your attention.
You started talking to another one too but not as much as me. Can you believe I was actually jealous? As the days passed and we started growing closer to each other I realized that I started developing feelings for you. I tried to conceal it and push it away because you were not only a couple years older than me, you were mature and I was immature, you were unreachable. Then I guess people started to realize and that started chaos. I denied that I didn't feel anything for you but that was a lie.
I started forcing myself to like other people so I wouldn't feel the heartbreak of seeing you open up to other people. I was your closest friend until I became one of your friends. We started drifting but we talked again and again and once more until we were close again. We became best friends because you understood me and I tried to understand you. I realized I still liked you and wanted to distance myself from you again but it hurt when you aren't around.
You have been running around in my head and I want to get you out but it's complicated. I can't like you, you have to be looking towards your future but I actually wanted to give it a shot but once again we lost touch this time for one of the longest times. I texted your brother to find out something relating to you and he sent me to you. I texted you and I could hear how upset you were with your words. You probably think I didn't notice but it actually hurt a lot when you spoke to me that way. I know we are bound to drift again because my personality and yours cause a force of repulsion.
I'm not someone fit to be your best friend, that title is too great for me to receive it. I missed you and it was great talking to you though I wish it were on better terms. Now I secretly say, "I love you." and "I'm sorry" I never wanted to make you upset or anything. Your love is innocent and pure and it seemed like you reserved it for the one you think is worthy. I wanted to be that person but I don't think I can get that sacred position to be called your best friend. I'm just dumb, I gave up, I regret it but I can't because I started looking for happiness again. I'm sorry for falling for you, I destroyed what we worked to build. I hope that one day we can talk about everything that happened to us and just be happy.
Not bad at all
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