Arigato.

Dear Apple,

Since you left, I've been distracting myself and trying my hardest for emotional and self-growth, and for that I thank you. I never had the courage to make the decision of leaving you but ever since it happened, I cried for hours and felt weak and drained but I realized that you did it for both of us, not for the purpose of hurting me. I guess we just really needed time apart in order to have personal growth and then maybe, if fate will allow, we can be in each other's arms someday. You have given me a chance to find out who I am without being attached to someone and for that I also thank you. It's going to be difficult without you because remembering our fondest moments will always be etched into my memories and I'm glad that I was able to share them with you. For a time, even though not long I was irrevocably and unconditionally in love with you. Those 5 months we have experienced a relationship way more grown up than expected and even though it was short, our 5 months were like another's 2 years. 

Thinking back on how things went and how we started off will never be forgotten and this love, our love, even though you might deny it, will always be cherished. Thank you for making me feel like one of the most amazing people on the planet. Thank you for hugging me when I desperately needed one or even just when I craved your embrace. Thank you for placing a kiss on my lips each time we had a disagreement or just wanted to embrace our love. Thank you for always answering the phone and giving me advice. Thank you for just being there to console me on sad days and congratulate me on the happy ones. Thank you for helping me to become the person I am today. If it wasn't for you my life would have been an endless disaster of misfortunes and I am grateful that you spared me the time of day. I was lost in terms of who I was and what I should be doing. Thank you for dragging me amid my world of knives. 

I am extremely grateful for everything that you have bought for me, the rings as a sign of your love. The letters which you wrote detailing me, you may not have captured my essence but you understood my being. Even though I still hang on to the hope that time can't be cruel and will lead us back to each other, there is also the possibility of someone else doing my job but better, and even though that would surely hurt, I want you to embrace that person's love and not deny like what you did with me. You deserve your own happiness, stop punishing yourself and refusing to accept it and throw away your stubbornness if you have to but accept it. 

We have been through a lot, happiness, sadness, grief, loneliness, indecisiveness, insecurities, and ignorance but through all these stages we will be reminded and know how to approach it better for future times. I'm sorry you had to put up with me for so long, I can be a burden and stressful at times but I hope I was able to at least bring some joy and happiness into the mix. I hope I was able to make you genuinely smile and felt my love through my hugs. I hope you will never forget how much I loved you and how much I still do, it's not going to leave but in the sense romantically, I hope that this love will remain until you are ready and if it doesn't, make me fall in love with you again and trust me it is possible.

This isn't a goodbye or good-riddance or closure but a thank you letter. Thank you for helping me to experience more than I could imagine. I hope that one day after we both have healed, we will be able to face each other and live a life where we can be happy, and even if we don't meet again in such fashion, I hope that whosoever loves you in the future they give you loads of it as I was unable to. You deserve more than you think and I hope that you will never forget what we shared because it wasn't just sweet, it was a sacred and untainted love. Lastly, I wish you all the happiness in this world. Be happy and smile more.

Love, 

Tomato

Written by Alyssa Chin