Mystery of Love.

I've never really realized how much it took to love another human being. It's like setting yourself up for disaster with hopes of it being fruitful in the end. Having experienced the feeling of love, I would say it was rough although beautiful and majestic, it was especially difficult in learning how to share your life with another. What's worse, is when it all disappears. The continuous cycle of regret and pain and sadness makes your body get used to being weak. 

When a tidal wave of emotions controls how your body works and how you feel, it takes dominance leaving no place for your thoughts to wander. Then you start sinking, which leaves no air to enter, and no chance to breathe. Then you go down further and further thinking that there might be an end or you'll reach the bottom soon but you only fool yourself. You don't stop sinking, you drown. 

Drowning isn't even the worst of it. It's when you die. Your body stops functioning, you no longer think, you no longer feel, you just exist but you're dead at the same time. Looking into a vast nothingness and no longer trying to escape but accepting the silence and stillness around you. You just accept it all. You're floating, drifting off but you no longer need air because you now breathe water. Maybe if I knew to swim I wouldn't have gotten trapped yet I beg to differ, either way, you take it, you sink. The funny thing is that I don't regret it, this pain, this hurt. I'm so glad that I met you. I had the best time falling in love with you, for a while you were mine and I would spend forever loving you. 

We danced, even underwater I was able to dance because you drowned too. I made you drown so you would dance and now you've sunken even deeper than me. You became my muse and I didn't want to let you go but you went deeper. Not to worry, I'll see you soon. Even to the depths of this still ocean, I'll come to get you. You're my responsibility and I won't leave you by yourself. I'll float with you and I'll wait until you're ready to go to the top and I'll follow. My love is as vast as this great calm and even though it seems like I'm torturing myself, I choose you. I'll hold your hand and drag you to the surface because that's where we'll truly meet and be free.

Written by Alyssa Chin