The Complicated Expression of Love.

I have concluded that my life is absolutely dominated by the meaning of love or maybe it's the feeling. Not just romantically but every form of love there is to exist. The warmth, and need for love constantly draws me to believe that I can't function without it. I struggled with the meaning of love for years. The confusion I faced in my relationships always made me question the validity of my definition of love. I used to hear that you can't define love but what if there was a more straight-forward definition that most of us overlook. 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." What if we were to cultivate these traits within ourselves? I think doing that, the definition of love becomes clearer, and not only do you get more clarification, but you also learn to love. 

I believe that we all have love within us but because of the hurt and experiences we face in a society like ours, we're always meant to believe that love is weak. Love does come with vulnerability but I think that makes us stronger. It's hard for us humans, to exist without love. Some acknowledge it and others don't or they don't know how to. Instead of completely disregarding love, what if we embraced it? Or rather learn how to? People always have a certain way of thinking about hopeless romantics. Me, being a hopeless romantic myself, I have garnered the strength to learn how to love while accepting being hurt. I don't want to be hurt, neither should you. Besides, it's also about growth. In my opinion, not all hopeless romantics are bad. Yes, some of them do questionable things but some follow "healthy" approaches. 

Hopeless romantics tend to appreciate and value deep, passionate, and romantic connections; while this can lead to beautiful, intense relationships, there are potential drawbacks. Being a hopeless romantic is not inherently "bad." I think that hopeless romantics must learn to combine their romantic ideals with the realities of real-life relationships because the latter can be difficult for someone used to a fairy-tale romance, as they require complexity, faults, and compromise. Acquiring an understanding of boundaries and associated elements promotes a more peaceful and balanced way of living, which is beneficial to psychological health. 

Yes, it hurts to grow. It's also difficult to grow. Regardless, love can bring you both good and bad. There's a saying that there has to be a balance of good and bad. You aren't always going to receive something good without something bad following. Choosing to love someone and choosing to be loved by someone are some of the most important decisions we are going to be making in our lives. Love has the power to make someone's life more peaceful, while also holding the power to bring chaos. Love shapes our character so that we will not react the way pride has conditioned us to. By choosing who we love and how we love, we are choosing either peace or destruction.  

Love is beautiful. It hurts too, but choosing love means choosing to fight the hurt. Learning to love is also important because to love someone you have to know how to. Although there are going to be mistakes, there is also going to be joy. Remember there's a difference between happiness and joy. We have to learn to love because love allows us to learn. 

Written by Alyssa Chin

Photo Credits by Friedrich Heyser