I have concluded that my life is absolutely dominated by the meaning of love or maybe it's the feeling. Not just romantically but every form of love there is to exist. The warmth, and need for love constantly draws me to believe that I can't function without it. I struggled with the meaning of love for years. The confusion I faced in my relationships always made me question the validity of my definition of love. I used to hear that you can't define love but what if there was a more straight-forward definition that most of us overlook. 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 says, " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." What if we were to cultivate these traits within ourselves? I think doing tha...
The surge of unknowing that dwells deep within my spirit as I try to assure myself that I am making the right decision in choosing you. The hurt and pain that follow, and choosing to love again. Choosing to open myself again to the torture of emotions and all the feelings that come with the desperation of being and falling in love. I have told myself over and over that my love is not something to be withheld, yet I scare myself with how deeply I love and how easily I choose to love. Sometimes, I wonder if it is a bad thing the way I will continually forgive all the past hurts and pains that I have put myself through, all in the name of love. What I do isn't only for me but for the one I love. The mixture of confusion and assurance that sits inside me and causes chaos always seems to greet me when I've decided to fully commit myself to loving another. What do I do with the words that I haven't said and the words that I still wish to say? What do I do with all the pain and hu...
I think I finally accept that I can handle heartbreak, only if it comes from you because the thought of holding onto you longer juxtaposes the feeling of hurt and fear that hides in my heart. I believe I still haven't changed even though given a chance to, I still remain the same coward I was while wearing a bravado. I'm waiting patiently on the day you break my heart into a thousand pieces because maybe then I will learn to move on. I have decided to wait, how foolish of me I must say but inevitably this would be the outcome, I have only tried to deny it. I wish to stand by you until you need to rid of me and consider me useless. I would literally give you a lot not all but whatever you need in the name of the four letters called 'love'. It's funny how I did not know love before you while you believed you could show me and after you, I have learned pieces of that word while you have drifted from it. After thoughts have taken over you for days, you would expect the...
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